48 July 2012 www.bahrainthismonth.com Perhaps there isn’t a better occasion for introspection and soul searching than Ramadan. For those trying to get to the root of their relationship problems, a timely book to pursue this summer would be Aruna Ladva’s It’s Time for Relationships. Based on her own experiences and inner reflections, the thoughtful book examines the core of many different relationships we have in our lives, both with others and with ourselves. The seed of disharmony in relationships is often sown by our expectations, believes Aruna, who is the founder of the Bahrain Meditation Centre. “Although we live in an imperfect world we expect our relationships to be perfect. Expectation in a relationship is the real killer; it sets you up for disappointment. Once you do away with expectations and act from a place of pure love and generosity, you won’t lack anything,” the spiritual counsellor advises. Aruna has a blend of Eastern and Western cultures. She was born in Kenya, educated in London and worked in Vancouver, and has been studying with the Brahma Kumaris for the past 35 years. During this time she has travelled regularly to promote the work of the university, run retreats, managed projects and teaching and facilitating in the area of human development. The book is a culmination of the weekly articles she writes on her blog and the talks she gives around the world. For those who are on a spiritual journey, how we perceive our relationships is a reflection of who we are. And unless our relationship with ourselves improves, it will be difficult to build strong relationships with others, she believes. In the book, Aruna dwells on how we can value ourselves and others, find pure love and, ultimately, how we can find closure when the door to a relationship closes for the last time. An important tool in building respect in relationships is the art of being assertive and learning to say “no” without giving offence to loved ones, she notes. Talking about emotional proximity, she advises that stepping back sometimes and cultivating emotional detachment can help in resolving issues. “To have a difference in opinion is fine and healthy and it shouldn’t bring about a difference in the hearts. Also, the key to resolving conflicts is to not get caught up emotionally in the drama,” she says. In the end, love is the only weapon that can bridge gaps and heal wounds, she concludes. “Once unkind and hurtful words are said, nothing can undo the damage. Revenge can only beget more violence. We must plant the first positive seed, which will set the tone in our relationships, both within and around us,” she says. Aruna, with her education in natural health and as a certified negotiator in conflict resolution, continues to promote a peaceful, natural and vegetarian lifestyle. Simi Kamboj A new book by Aruna Ladva explores how spiritual wisdom can bring freedom in relationships. spotlightthismonth xxxxx Although we live in an imperfect world we expect our relationships to be perfect. Expectation in a relationship is the real killer; it sets you up for disappointment Aruna Ladva Time to Look Within
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